"What Are Little Boys Made of" by Michael Kimmel was a good read. "If all the boys are white and middle class, at least they're not all straight" and most therapists make it seem biological and urge "compassion and understanding before returning to the more 'important' stuff." This quote refers to the idea that not all boys are straight, and homosexuality is often touched upon but not stressed as a a natural thing for boys. This idea relates to Rich's views on compulsory heterosexuality. The idea that straightness is assumed in our society. Kimmel also quotes Kindlon and Thompson saying that our culture of "cruelty imposes a code of silence on boys, requiring them to suffer without speaking of it and to be silent witnesses to acts of cruelty of others." I strongly agree with this statement and I speak from personal experience. As a gay child growing up and finding myself, I was always rather feminine (by society's terms). I would turn blankets into dresses for myself and dance around my living room and I would always take on a girl persona when playing "family" or "sisters" with my friends. My father was ruthless in killing this self expression. He would yell at me to stop dancing. take off the dress, and get some friends who are boys. If I fell down and cried, I was told to get up and stop crying. I was told to eat bread because "it puts hair on your chest." Or I was told to "play sports with your brothers" because I was not a manly as them. Most of my childhood was spent upstairs in my bedroom, crying to myself and hoping that one day I could be free and love myself. This summer, I decided to do something for the child that cried in his room (and to give a big F you to my father). I took a drag photo shoot as Ellie Kook, a woman who loves herself, is free and happy. and never feels ashamed of who she is.


Back to Kimmel though, "men and boys are responsible for 85 percent of all violent crimes in this country, and their victims are overwhelmingly male as well." By teaching boys that masculinity is based on strength, athleticism, and violence, it is causing an outbreak of physical altercations and the adolescent "keep your hands to yourself" lesson is fading away. To me, masculinity is about what kind of man you are. Violent, hateful males are cowardly boys. Intelligent and accepting males are men.
Chicago the Musical- We Both Reached for the Gun
Above is a video for a scene in Chicago that shows the way that lawyer Billy Flynn teaches Roxie Hart to lie to the press to be found not guilty.
I love that this film made it known that feminism isn't only about females. I thank you for sharing your story and love that photo (I looked at it before reading and thought it was you but wasn't sure). It's sad how homosexuality isn't "stressed as a natural thing". Another thing that bothered me was the whole boy scout concept.
ReplyDelete